What to Do When Friends and Family Are Pressuring You into an Abortion Decision 

January 13, 2025

If you’re feeling pressured into an abortion decision, please know this: it’s never okay. The choice about how to move forward in your pregnancy is yours—and your mental health depends on making that decision free from pressure or coercion.

Understanding that you have the right to make your own decision is empowering, but navigating this pressure can be overwhelming. Before we discuss steps to help, let’s define what pressure and coercion can look like—especially since they’re often more subtle than we realize.

Defining Pressure and Coercion

Many signs of pressure and coercion are more obvious and might look like:

• Threats or ultimatums (“If you don’t get an abortion, you can’t live here,” or “I won’t be here to help if you choose parenting”) 
• Hurtful, dismissive comments (“You’re stupid if you don’t get an abortion”)

But not all pressure is so blatant. Subtle signs of coercion may include:

• Disregarding your feelings (“I know you better than you know yourself, and abortion is best for you”)
• Ignoring your boundaries (They repeatedly give their opinion after you’ve asked them to stop.)
• Using guilt to manipulate your decision (“If you really love me, you will get an abortion”)

Other indicators you’re being subtly pressured include feeling like you’re being forced to make a quick decision, being isolated from supportive friends or family, or feeling emotionally drained after interactions. 

Trust your instincts—if something feels off or you feel controlled, you’re likely facing coercion. You deserve the space to decide what’s best for you, and the steps below can help.

How to Resist Pressure and Coercion

Navigating pressure from your family and friends is difficult. You may care deeply about them, but remember: they won’t live with this decision—you will.

Here’s how to reclaim your space and make a decision that’s truly yours:.

1. Learn All You Can about Your Options

Abortion comes with risks to your physical and mental health. Before you seek abortion, you will want to get an ultrasound to confirm your pregnancy’s gestational age—which will determine which abortion options are available. 

Along with abortion, your other options include parenting and adoption. Talking to someone you trust who won’t pressure you into one choice over another can help you think through which option is right for you. 

At Choices, we’re here to provide that safe, nonjudgmental space for you to talk, ask questions, and learn more about your options. 

2. Take the Time You Need

Don’t rush into a decision. Instead, take the time you need to learn all you can about your options and determine how you truly feel. While you might feel like a decision must be made soon, the reality is that you have time—and knowing you’re making the best decision for you is better than making a rushed decision.

3. Set Boundaries 

As you learn about your options and think through your feelings, you will likely need to set boundaries with your loved ones. This might look like separating yourself from them (not meeting with them in person or texting until you’re ready), or simply telling them that you don’t want to talk about your pregnancy until you’re ready.

4. Speak Honestly—When You’re Ready

When the time feels right, let your loved ones know your decision. This helps preserve relationships while reinforcing that the decision is ultimately yours.

You might say: “I love and value your opinion, but I’ve decided to [insert decision]. This feels best for me, and I hope you’ll respect and support my choice.”

We’re Here for You

No one should feel pressured into a decision about their pregnancy. Take the time you need, trust your instincts, and move forward in a way that feels right for you.

At Choices, we’re here to provide a safe, supportive space for you to talk, ask questions, and learn about your options. You don’t have to face this alone.

Contact us today to schedule your free, confidential appointment.