“I’m pregnant.”

Those two little words that turn your world upside down.

“And I think I’m going to get an abortion.”

Your heart stops for a minute.

Okay, that makes sense.

Wait, is that what I want?

It’s her choice, isn’t it? And I’m supposed to support her…

But what if you want to keep the baby? What if despite the timing of it all, and the pregnancy far from planned, you find yourself thinking about what it would be like to be a dad. You think I could do this.

But then you begin to feel lost. What are you supposed to say or do if she is planning on having an abortion?

Speak Up

Don’t wait. Tell her how you feel. Let her know that you will support her and your child.

Although the decision is ultimately up to her, knowing how you really feel about the pregnancy and being a dad helps her make a fully informed choice. It empowers her and you. Leave all your cards on the table. If you want to continue your relationship together – tell her. If you’re excited (and also a little scared) – tell her. She deserves to hear from you because she is making a decision that will impact your life too.

Be Compassionate

Ask questions in a kind and thoughtful way to find out why she’s considering an abortion. Don’t judge her responses or motivations. Listen and be a friend.

Often women who have had an abortion share they felt like it was their only option at the time. Many of our clients share they don’t think they’ll be supported or have the help they’ll need. They have concerns about school or their job or how they will make it all work.

If she brings up those concerns, let her know she is not alone. Show her your support and try to understand her point of view. Validate her concerns, then encourage her. Let her know just how strong and capable she is.

Find Support

An informed decision is an empowered decision. You both deserve to learn all the facts and find support and care. When you come Choices, we will share accurate, medical information on abortion and answer any questions you may have about the abortion pill, surgical abortion, and your other pregnancy options like parenting and adoption. We can provide a free ultrasound where she can learn how far along she is, learn whether or not the pregnancy is viable, and provide a consultation with a nurse.

During your appointment, you can meet with one of our male client advocates and share your thoughts and concerns and learn more about your role. If she decides to continue the pregnancy, we offer one-on-one mentorship for dads and classes for new parents. We have programs and resources for her too.

We’re here for both of you every step of the way.

Make an appointment today. Then remind her that there are supportive people in her corner to help her (and you) make a fully informed choice.

You can also contact Jonathan, our Men’s Ministry Director, at jhoover@choiceschattanooga.org or at his direct line, 423-602-9991.

Choices Chattanooga is a faith-based 501(c)(3) non-profit organization in the state of Tennessee. All services are confidential and free of charge. Walk-ins are welcome but ultrasounds are available by appointments only. Choices does not refer for or perform abortions.