Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

April 2, 2025

No, you are not legally required to tell your partner that you want an abortion. However, it’s important to step back and consider why you want to hide your pregnancy decision from your partner. 

Are you worried that your partner won’t agree with your decision? Do you not want to stay with your partner and feel like abortion is the only way to sever ties with him? 

No matter your reasoning for wanting to hide an abortion decision from your partner, it’s so important to think through your decision carefully and consider your motives. 

This article will help you take a step back and think through all of this to ensure you’re making the best decision for you. (Looking for a space to sort through everything? We’re here, and all appointments and resources are free and confidential.)

Why Do You Want to Hide Your Pregnancy Decision from Your Partner?

Anytime we feel we need to hide something from someone, it’s usually a sign that something isn’t quite right. 

Before making a pregnancy decision, consider why you want to hide this choice from your partner. 

If you feel scared of how your partner might react, or if you don’t want to be tied to your partner due to sharing a child with them, it’s understandable. But it’s essential to know that secretly getting an abortion won’t fix these issues—instead, it will only add another problem to the pile.

Talk to someone you trust or write in a journal about why you want to get an abortion and hide it from your partner. Only by understanding your motives will you be able to see whether your desire to get an abortion is based on fear or not. Learning how you truly feel will guide your decision-making.

Do You See a Future with Your Partner?

Once you understand your motives, it’s also important to consider whether you see a future with your partner. If so, maintaining transparency and honesty with your partner is essential to building a healthy future together. 

If you get an abortion without telling your partner, it will be a secret you will feel forced to carry forever. And secrets are like heavy stones that will inevitably make you feel weighed down. 

Instead, being honest with your partner about why you want an abortion will help avoid secrets and lies now and in the future—and it will also help your partner feel valued. 

Why Telling Your Partner the Truth Is Important

Your pregnancy decision is yours to make—and no one has the right to make you feel pressured into one choice over another.

While your partner likely has his own opinions about how you should move forward, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t talk to him about what you’re considering and why. 

Telling your partner that you’re considering an abortion will open a dialogue where you two can talk through what you’re both feeling. Although you might not see eye-to-eye, this open space will allow you both to feel seen, heard, and valued. 

If you don’t think that talking alone will be productive—or if you are worried about your safety—talking with an unbiased third party (like a counselor) can prove immensely beneficial. 

You’re Not Alone in This

Whatever pregnancy decision you make will be life-changing, which is why it’s critical to make sure you’re making your decision based on what you really want for your future and not from a place of secrecy and hiding. 

Before deciding, contact Choices today to find a safe, supportive space to learn all you can about your pregnancy options. While we don’t perform or refer for abortions, we will give you all the facts to ensure you’re fully informed. Plus, we can help you discover the resources and support that are available if you choose parenting or adoption. 

While it can feel like you’re all alone in this—you’re not. We’re here for you.