It’s a common phone call around here. We understand that you can feel just as lost if someone you know is facing an unplanned pregnancy. You just want to do and say the right thing but it’s sometimes hard to know what that is. So before anyone starts panicking, let’s start with what not to do. 😉
Saw that one coming, didn’t you? She needs you to be calm because that may be the last thing she’s feeling. If she hasn’t had a pregnancy confirmation yet (a diagnostic ultrasound is a 100% proven way to confirm), don’t start making plans just yet. She may be thinking about the worst-case scenario and the best thing you can do is help her take one step at a time.
Since you’ve already done an awesome job at helping her stay calm, the next best thing is to help her get all the answers she needs. Help her get an appointment where she can confirm (or negate) her pregnancy, learn about all her options (types of abortion, adoption, and parenting), and learn medical information about her pregnancy so she can make a fully informed choice. It’s easy to assume what we’d do when faced with an unplanned pregnancy, but you never really know you will feel until it happens.
Once she’s learned everything she needs to know (and we hope you went with her for moral support), remind her she has time. Time to make a decision, time to pick a provider, time to think about her future. Time is almost always on her side. Rushing decisions, no matter what they are, can lead to regret.
This one may sound odd, but if she is focusing on the hard stuff, or saying what she can’t do, listen to her concerns but lovingly share how capable and strong she really is. Tell her she is tough enough, brave enough, and amazing enough to handle whatever comes her way. Remind her that she isn’t alone.
Have a friend right now going through an unplanned pregnancy? Shoot us a message! We’re happy to help answer any questions you or your friend may have. Choices provides free and confidential services to anyone who thinks they may be pregnant. Best of all, we’re a safe place to sit back, talk about your options, and be reminded of just how awesome you are.
Erika D. Hogans
Nurse - BSN, RN
The content on this page has been reviewed and approved by our Registered Nurse Erika D. Hogans.